For about a decade, I was the assistant to one of the best known Christian philosophers in the world, Dr. William Lane Craig. “Bill,” as he is known by his friends, has been married for to his wife, Jan for forty-plus years. Bill and Jan have two adult children together; their daughter Chastity & their son . Bill would occasionally preach and offer practical relational advice out of his decades of attempting to sustain a Biblically-based Christian marriage.
Follow along here:
Summary of the audio by Dr. Craig;
General point: Anticipating the significant stresses of ministry on marriages
General point: Balancing marriage priority with realistic vocational pursuits
General point: The crucial importance of deeply evaluating your potential spouse Advice for males pre-marriage: Marry someone who believes in you and who supports you in your calling
Advice for females pre-marriage: Be the kind of person who can commit to being a helper and supporter
Advice for males pre-marriage: Beware of the career woman who will put their career over supporting you in your calling
Advice for females pre-marriage: Be careful about marrying if you think that your goals are more crucial than your husband’s goals
Advice for males pre-marriage: be careful what images and movies you see with the goal of keeping your chastity
Advice for females post marriage: understand that you have to work at the marriage in order to help your man finish his studies or complete certain milestone vocational goals
Advice for males post marriage: do not break eye contact with your wife, and also hold her hand when communicating
Advice for females post marriage: take an interest in your spouse’s work even if you don’t care about it, and ask him about it every day and try to understand it. Go to the man’s workplace and see what he does. Go to his presentations. Get involved in the man’s ministry and help him in practical ways.
Advice for males: be careful what images and movies you see with the goal of keeping your chastity / developing sexual self-mastery
General Advice: Don’t try to find the right person for you but instead focus on learning about marriage and preparing for marriage
General Advice: Flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, love and peace
General Advice: God intends for sex to be within the bounds of marriage, so you need to guard yourself against unchastity
General Advice: your highest responsibility after your relationship with God is your spouse, and your studies are third
General Advice: it’s better to drop classes or give up your graduate studies entirely rather than destroy your marriage
General Advice: set aside a period of the day for communicating and bonding with your spouse
General Advice: cultivate the ability to talk with your spouse on a personal level, and maintain eye contact
General Advice: do not be embarrassed to seek out a marriage counselor, but make it a good counselor
General Advice: don’t just be doing activities for your mate, but also be vulnerable and transparent with your mate
General Advice: Do not cultivate the habit of “papering over” the differences & difficulties – it’s sometimes good to argue, because it means that problems are being confronted and worked through
General Advice: Husbands should have a good male friend with whom to dialogue, and wives should have a good female friend with whom to dialogue.
Here are the five main pieces of advice Dr. Craig gives to many married couples when pressed to be brief:
Resolve that there will be no divorce
Delay having children
Confront problems honestly
Seek marital counseling
Take steps to build intimacy in your relationship
Dr. William Lane Craig is one of the most respected and erudite Christians intellectuals on the planet. He is also an astounding father and husband because he takes his Christian commitment seriously and strives daily to conform his actions to Biblical instruction. As his former assistant, I can attest this excellence with regard to his walk with his wife and children.